What's happening with the Householders?: March 2008

Saturday, March 1, 2008

We're having a girl!

Yay! My many feelings and impressions were proven true on Feb. 21st when I had my ultrasound - we're going to have a girl! We are all so excited! Ethan said that he wanted a baby sister too! :) McKay I think is still not quite clued in to what it all means that mommy's tummy is getting round! No name ideas yet - but I'd entertain any ideas! :)

July 4th is the expected due date, but both the boys came around 10 days early...so we'll see! The weather here is AZ is starting to warm up fast so I hope I can make it through the next 4 months!

Something to make you (and me) smile!

Make a slideshow - it's easy!

Here are just some favorite photos of our life over the last couple of months! Enjoy!

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Kids (ours) say the funniest things!

Shawn was looking at a magazine that had a picture of some people hiking. McKay pointed to it and asked, "What are they doing Daddy?" Shawn said, "They're hiking." So McKay says, "I want to say hi to the king!" :)
Ethan's updated version of the ABC song: "...hijk...lm over p..."'
Ethan's cousin Matthew's observation as Deanna cries while trying to sing at the same time: "Do you know why she is crying? It's because she is feeling her spirit!" :)
Singing & Crying Don't Mix: May 10th 2008 was Ethan's cousin Hannah's baptism. I was asked to sing...but ended it more like cry/sing. When I sat down, Ethan said "You shouldn't cry when you sing. It's hard to sing and cry."
Short Story #3: "Once there was a bear named Mollace. He was a nice bear who lived in the forest. He showed me a waterfall and I got in. But Ethan had his clothes on in the waterfall. I didn't like it. I got out."
Another Short Story: "Once upon a time, there was a boy names Merkle and he had a girl friend named Beagle and they were friends with Mollace the moose. Merkle and Beagle didn't know where they belonged in the forest. And then they came home. The End"
Ethan's Short Story: "A long time ago there was a moose named Wallace. He wasn’t very big. He couldn’t reach anything. So another moose helped him."
"I have a stummy ache!" Ethan
"I think I don't know where a McDonalds is." Ethan
"I'd like a turkey snawich!" Ethan
"I have a baby in my neck!" Ethan

Quotes to Remember

"Adults see nothing in everything. Children see everything in nothing."
"I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year, "Give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown." And he replied, "Go out into the darkness and put your hand into the Hand of God. That shall be to you better than light and safer than a known way."
"The ultimate result of all ambition is to be happy at home." Samuel Johnson (18th century writer)
Let go and let God.
"For every worry under the sun, there is a solution, or there is none. If there is, go out and find it. If there is none, then never mind it." LeGrand Richards (I learned of this quote from my best friend, Sheila Richards Beckstrand. LeGrand Richards was her grandfather. )
"We’re not going to survive in this world, temporally or spiritually, without increased faith in the Lord—and I don’t mean a positive mental attitude—I mean downright solid faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. That is the one thing that gives vitality and power to otherwise rather weak individuals." A. Theodore Tuttle
"We must know Christ better than we know him; we must remember him more often than we remember him; we must serve him more valiantly than we serve him. . . .What manner of men and women ought we to be? Even as he is." Howard W. Hunter
"Each indecision brings its own delays and days are lost lamenting over lost days... What you can do or think you can do, begin it. For boldness has magic, power, and genius in it." Goethe
"Treat people as if they were what they ought to be, and you help them to become what they are capable of being." Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
"A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles.'" Christopher Reeve

My Favorites (Books (B), movies (M), singers (S),etc.)

"Be Still" sung by Hilary Weeks
Accomplishing things :)
Anna and the King (M)
Bonds That Make Us Free (B)
Bryce Canyon Nat'l Park
BYU Women's Conference
Chocolate (semi-sweet)
Christmas time
Feeling the answer to a prayer
Feelings Buried Alive Never Die (B)
Josh Groban (S)
Kate & Leopold (M)
Love Is Spoken Here CD (Mormon Tabernacle Choir)
Macaroni Grill's Chocolate Cake!
Meridian Magazine online
Michael Hicks' "To Satisfy the Law" CD
My own mattress at home
National Treasure (M)
North Avenue Irregulars (M)
Prelude to Glory Series (B)
Pride & Prejudice (M)
Seven Brides for Seven Brothers (M)
Shadowlands (M)
Singin' in the Rain (M)
Singing a solo, anywhere, anytime
The Five Love Languages (B)
The Man From Snowy River (M)
The Peacegiver (B)
The Robe (B)
The Scarlet Pimpernel (M)
The Slipper & the Rose (M)
The Sound of Music (M)
The Ultimate Gift (M)
Thunderstorms
Words of appreciation and gratitude

Don't Quit

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won if he'd stuck it out.
Don't give up, though the pace seems slow -
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than
It seems to a faint and faltering man;
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victor's cup,
And he learned too late, when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out -
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are -
It may be near when it seems afar;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit -
It's when things seem worst that you mustn't quit.

Author Unknown

Giving Thanks for Thorns (A Thanksgiving Message All Year Long)

Sandra felt as low as the heels of her shoes when she pulled open the
florist shop door, against a November gust of wind. Her life had been
as sweet as a spring breeze and then, in the fourth month of her
second pregnancy, a "minor" automobile accident stole her joy. This
was Thanksgiving week and the time she should have delivered their
infant son. She grieved over their loss.

Troubles had multiplied.

Her husband's company "threatened" to transfer his job to a new
location. Her sister had called to say that she could not come for her
long awaited holiday visit. What's worse, Sandra's friend suggested
that Sandra's grief was a God-given path to maturity that would allow
her to empathize with others who suffer. "She has no idea what I'm
feeling," thought Sandra with a shudder. "Thanksgiving? Thankful for
what?" she wondered. "For a careless driver whose truck was hardly
scratched when he rear-ended her? For an airbag that saved her life,
but took her child's?"

"Good afternoon, can I help you?"

Sandra was startled by the approach of the shop clerk. "I . . . I need
an arrangement," stammered Sandra.

"For Thanksgiving? I'm convinced that flowers tell stories," she
continued. "Are you looking for something that conveys 'gratitude'
this Thanksgiving?"

"Not exactly!" Sandra blurted out. "In the last five months,
everything that could go wrong has gone wrong."

Sandra regretted her outburst, and was surprised when the clerk said,
"I have the perfect arrangement for you."

Then the bell on the door rang, and the clerk greeted the new customer,

"Hi, Barbara, let me get your order." She excused herself and walked
back to a small workroom, then quickly reappeared, carrying an
arrangement of greenery, bows, and what appeared to be long-stemmed
thorny roses. Except the ends of the rose stems were neatly snipped:
there were no flowers.

"Do you want these in a box?" asked the clerk. Sandra watched - was
this a joke? Who would want rose stems with no flowers! She waited for
laughter, but neither woman laughed.

"Yes, please," Barbara replied with an appreciative smile. "You'd
think after three years of getting the special, I wouldn't be so moved
by its significance, but I can feel it right here, all over again,"
she said, as she gently tapped her chest.

Sandra stammered, "Ah, that lady just left with . uh . . . she left
with no flowers!"

"That's right," said the clerk. "I cut off the flowers. That's the
'Special'. I call it the Thanksgiving Thorns Bouquet. Barbara came
into the shop three years ago, feeling much as you do today,"
explained the clerk. "She thought she had very little to be thankful
for. She had just lost her father to cancer; the family business was
failing; her son had gotten into drugs; and she was facing major
surgery. That same year I had lost my husband," continued the clerk.
"For the first time in my life, I had to spend the holidays alone. I
had no children, no husband, no family nearby, and too much debt to
allow any travel."

"So what did you do?" asked Sandra.

"I learned to be thankful for thorns," answered the clerk quietly.
"I've always thanked God for the good things in my life and I never
questioned Him why those good things happened to me, but when the bad
stuff hit, I cried out, 'Why? Why me?!' It took time for me to learn
that the dark times are important to our faith! I have always enjoyed
the 'flowers' of my life, but it took the thorns to show me the beauty
of God's comfort! You know, the Bible says that God comforts us when
we're afflicted, and from His consolation we learn to comfort others."

Sandra sucked in her breath, as she thought about what her friend had
tried to tell her. "I guess the truth is I don't want comfort. I've
lost a baby and I'm angry with God."

Just then someone else walked in the shop.

"Hey, Phil!" the clerk greeted the balding, rotund man.

"My wife sent me in to get our usual Thanksgiving arrangement . . .
twelve thorny, long-stemmed stems!" laughed Phil as the clerk handed
him a tissue wrapped arrangement from the refrigerator.

"Those are for your wife?" asked Sandra incredulously. "Do you mind
telling me why she wants a bouquet that looks like that?"

"Four years ago, my wife and I nearly divorced," Phil replied. "After
forty years, we were in a real mess, but with the Lord's grace and
guidance, we trudged through problem after problem, the Lord rescued
our marriage. Jenny here (the clerk) told me she kept a vase of rose
stems to remind her of what she had learned from "thorny" times. That
was good enough for me. I took home some of those stems. My wife and I
decided to label each one for a specific "problem" and give thanks for
what that problem taught us."

As Phil paid the clerk, he said to Sandra, "I highly recommend the Special!"

"I don't know if I can be thankful for the thorns in my life" Sandra
said to the clerk. "It's all too . . . fresh."

"Well," the clerk replied carefully, "my experience has shown me that
the thorns make the roses more precious. We treasure God's
providential care more during trouble than at any other time. Remember
that it was a crown of thorns that Jesus wore so we might know His
love. Don't resent
the thorns."

Tears rolled down Sandra's cheeks. For the first time since the
accident, she loosened her grip on her resentment.

"I'll take those twelve long-stemmed thorns, please," she managed to choke out.

"I hoped you would," said the clerk gently. "I'll have them ready in a minute."

"Thank you. What do I owe you?"

"Nothing. Nothing but a promise to allow God to heal your heart. The
first year's arrangement is always on me."

The clerk smiled and handed a card to Sandra. "I'll attach this card
to your arrangement, but maybe you would like to read it first."

It read:

"My God, I have never thanked You for my thorns. I have thanked You a
thousand times for my roses, but never once for my thorns. Teach me
the glory of the cross I bear; teach me the value of my thorns. Show
me that I have climbed closer to You along the path of pain. Show me
that, through my tears, the colors of Your rainbow look much more
brilliant."

Praise Him for the roses; thank Him for the thorns.

God Bless all of you. Be thankful for all that the Lord does for you.

"Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly, and leave
the rest to God."

A Great Christmas Tradition to Begin

White Envelopes

It's just a small, white envelope stuck among the branches of our Christmas tree. No name, no identification, no inscription. It has peeked through the branches of our tree for the past 10 years or so.

It all began because my husband Mike hated Christmas. Oh, not the true meaning of Christmas, but the commercial aspects of it, overspending, the frantic running around at the last minute to get a tie for Uncle Harry and the dusting powder for Grandma, the gifts given in desperation because you couldn't think of anything else.

Knowing he felt this way, I decided one year to bypass the usual shirts, sweaters, ties and so forth. I reached for something special just for Mike. The inspiration came in an unusual way. Our son, Kevin, who was 12 that year was wrestling at the junior level at the school he attended, and shortly before Christmas, there was a non-league match against a team sponsored by an inner-city church.

These youngsters, dressed in sneakers so ragged that shoestrings seemed to be the only thing holding them together, presented a sharp contrast to our boys in the spiffy blue and gold uniforms and sparkling new wrestling shoes. As the match began I was alarmed to see that the other team was wrestling without headgear, a kind of light helmet designed to protect a wrestler's ears. It was a luxury the ragtag team obviously could not afford. Well, we ended up walloping them. We took every weight class. And as each of their boys got up from the mat, he swaggered around in his tatters with false bravado, a kind of street pride that couldn't acknowledge defeat. Mike, seated beside me, shook his head sadly, "I wish one of them could have won," he said. "They have a lot of potential, but losing like this could take the heart right out of them." Mike loved kids, all kids, and he knew them, having coached little league football, baseball and lacrosse.

That's when the idea of his present came. That afternoon, I went to a local sporting goods store and bought an assortment of wrestling headgear and shoes and sent them anonymously to the inner-city church. On Christmas Eve, I placed the envelope on the tree, the note inside telling Mike what I had done and that this was his gift from me. His smile was the brightest thing about Christmas that year and in succeeding years. For each Christmas, I followed the tradition, one year sending a group of mentally handicapped youngsters to a hockey game, another year a check to a pair of elderly brothers whose home had burned to the ground the week before Christmas, and on and on. The envelope became the highlight of our Christmas. It was always the last thing opened on Christmas morning and our children, ignoring their new toys, would stand with wide-eyed anticipation as their dad lifted the envelope from the tree to reveal its contents. As the children grew, the toys gave way to more practical presents, but the envelope never lost its allure. The story doesn't end there.

You see we lost Mike last year due to dreaded cancer. When Christmas rolled around, I was still so wrapped in grief that I barely got the tree up. But Christmas Eve found me placing an envelope on the tree, and in the morning, it was joined by three more.

Each of our children, unbeknownst to the others, had placed an envelope on the tree for their dad. The tradition has grown and someday will expand even further with our grandchildren standing around the tree with wide-eyed anticipation watching as their fathers take down the envelope. Mike's spirit, like the Christmas spirit, will always be with us.

Nancy W. Gavin

This story is a true story and inspired four siblings from Atlanta, GA to start The White Envelope Project, a nonprofit organization dedicated to promoting this tradition and charitable giving. The White Envelope Project founders are regularly in touch with the family in the article and are thrilled to have their support. The Gavin family and now thousands of others continue to celebrate the "white envelope" tradition each year. For more information about The White Envelope Project or to honor a loved one through a "white envelope" gift this year, please visit their website: www.WhiteEnvelopeProject.org

The Stewardship of Happiness

1. Happiness is a Plan - Designed by God

Joseph Smith said: "Happiness is the object and design of our existence and will be the end thereof."

2. Happiness is a gift - Given to us by God

The gift of happiness was given to us by Heavenly Father and it is an eternal principle - with conditions of course. Our Heavenly Father loves us so much that he wanted us to have a wonderful time together, to experience joy, love, and to bask in his spirit which is the spark of happiness upon this earth. So He gave us this plan which helps prepare us for greater trips in the future. We have a treasure greater than all the kingdoms of the world. Isn't this wonderful! Let me add here that this gift does hold us accountable in the sense that by receiving this gift, we are now designated stewards over our minds. Aren't we a most blessed people to have this plan and gift and stewardship?

3. Happiness is a set of Laws: Lord's part of promise - Law of Harvest- We reap what we sow."

Gal. 6:7-8 "...for whatever a man soweth that shall he also reap. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting."

This is an eternal law. The Lord says also in Hebrew 8:10 that “I will put my laws into their mind, and write them in their hearts..." The Scriptures tell us that we have "spiritual organs" - known as the heart and the mind and that is where the Lord has implanted the laws of happiness which are there to direct our divine natures. For instance we hear: "Spirit enlightens the mind" and "..I will tell you in your mind."

Brigham Young said: "The greatest mystery a man ever learned, is to know how to control the human mind, and bring every faculty and power of the same in subjection to Jesus Christ; this is the greatest mystery we have to learn while in these tabernacles of clay."

4. Stewardship - Our life's work - Covenant With Lord - To Live Our Divine Nature

In the LDS lexicon, 'Stewardship' is based on the understanding that all things ultimately belong to the Lord, whether it is our property, time, talents, families, capacity for service or our minds and hearts, and even our very breath.

We are "trustees" of the Lord's plan of happiness. To be trustees we know from managing our earthly assets that we have to have some awareness, accountability, we have to believe in our financial managers, that takes faith, and we have to choose. If we make errors we are quick to repair the choices and reestablish equilibrium.

DIVINE NATURE - Our goal as stewards over our happiness is to live our divine nature, know who we are, and act out of that spiritual nature. When we do that - there is unity, harmony, love and beauty and of course happiness.

Elder Boyd K. Packer has informed us that stewardship over the mind is difficult and it takes a certain amount of awareness to do it.

"The mind is like a stage. Except when we are asleep the curtain is always up. There is always some act being performed on that stage. It may be a comedy a tragedy, interesting or dull, good or bad, but always there is some act playing on the stage of the mind. Have you noticed that without any real intent on your part in the middle of almost any performance, a shady little thought may creep in from the wings and attract your attention?”

“These delinquent thoughts will try to upstage everybody. If you permit them to go on, all thoughts of virtue will leave the stage. You will be left, because you consented to it, to the influence of unrighteous thoughts." (Conference Report Oct. 73: p.24)

STAYING CONNECTED----Our stewardship must consist of staying connected to our "real self" and that means to that part of us that lived in the pre-existence and is now housed in this body. This Spirit requires our care and love, protection and devotion. It is in our keeping. We are like a type of parent to our spirit, AND BECAUSE IT IS INVISIBLE, AND INSIDE OF US, WE TEND TO FORGET IT IS THERE, AND NEGLECT IT, all the while it cries out for our attention as it is encompassed by the darkness.

So if we stay connected to our inner self, we will have access to the great store house of knowledge that is within, and we will discover that we know more than we know. That means that our head and our heart must communicate with each other in a unified way. A partnership is not only required between us and Heavenly Father and our Savior Jesus Christ, but we are commanded to partner with our selves. The Commandment to "love thy neighbor as thy self" cannot be fulfilled unless we have sacred love for our divine nature...that part of us that is unified in harmony for the purpose of happiness. Our head needs our heart. And we need to the spirit to keep them together. They head tends to wander...and we have to pull it back away from the worldly temporal thoughts and back to spiritual perspective on everything. Why:

ENDOWMENTS MOSES 6:61

Because Our Spirit has these capabilities as endowments (there are 8) spoken of in Moses 6:61: I have condensed some.

1. It knows everything. It has an eternal perspective on everything and I mean everything. It knows the record of heaven. Knows the truth when heard.

2. Possesses spiritual sensitivity, understands immortal glory and can spirit talk. Quickens the spirit. Enlivens other spirits.

3. Great awareness, sees logic, and knows when things are not right-makes all things alive.

4. Has all power for wisdom mercy, truth, justice, and judgment. Possesses Deep empathy, understanding, and love..."

5. Has the Holy Comforter - which dwells there

HAPPY PEOPLE -The celestial kingdom will only accommodate happy people, so it is our job to make sure we meet that criteria.

These are all our attributes - aspects of our divine DNA, and WE must use these aspects as part of our living process.

5. It Is A Living Process - (Stewardship makes us Gardeners)

(Alma's ABC's)

We are progressing in our growth and becoming more aware, more accountable, ready to sacrifice some old worn out ideas, and we really need to bump up our discipline of AGENCY so that we can better utilize the teachings that Alma gave to his son Helaman. He gave him a formula for happiness that I call the ABC's. I give these to my clients as an emergency preparedness formula for the care of the mind and heart. It can be used daily, and many times daily throughout our lives to help us get back on track whenever we notice a negative emotional reaction to circumstances in our lives.

Alma teaches us about our inner self. He calls it the 'inner vessel', the place where our minds and hearts dwell, and he says: "Do ye suppose that God will look upon you as guiltless while ye sit still and behold these things? Nay, Now I would that ye should remember that God has said that the INWARD VESSEL SHALL BE CLEANSED FIRST, and then shall the outer vessel be cleansed also." (Alma 60:23) He says also: "Let all thy thoughts be directed unto the Lord; yea let thy affection of thy heart be placed upon the Lord forever." (Alma 37:36) Alma explains, like the great prophet and psychologist that he was, that: "We are spirits living in a temporal body residing in a mortal world, and our work here is to purify our inner spiritual nature to prepare for our return to Heavenly Father. Do not concern yourselves so much with trying to clean up or change the external world. Concentrate on learning how to clean your inner self."

ABC'S - So for simplicity - let's say that we need to follow the ABC'S of the law of our minds and hearts in order to be good stewards and engaged in righteousness to the best of our ability. We can do that! We can be aware and accountable. We can challenge our beliefs and weed out the false ones. It gets easier and easier to do the more we are willing to sacrifice our false beliefs. Most false beliefs concern themselves with these subjects: PAIN AVOIDANCE, POSITION, and POWER. Pain avoidance is the number one false belief that I see. "I shouldn't be hurting, if only...". Our part of the atonement principle is to allow mortal pain to wash over us without becoming angry. That way, the Lord's atonement will still be force for us. But, if we take our pain back from Him, and try to manage it ourselves, feel like a victim, engage in self comfortering - we lose the precious umbrella of the atonement's power over our personal pain. So let's wake up...watch carefully how our carnal nature will try to take control of our mind and let's stop it with this formula.

A= Awareness, accountability,
B = Beliefs false, willingness to sacrifice a position or idea.
C = Change or consequence. Our progress and proficiency can be easily measured by how much we begin to notice change in our nature, or how much we are suffering negative consequences.

That is the simple formula that Alma gave us to use daily for stress reduction, happiness enhancement. If we can practice doing it, Alma gives us another promise:

"And then shall it come to pass, that the spirits of those who are righteous are received into a STATE OF HAPPINESS which is called paradise, a state of rest, a state of peace, where they shall rest from all care and sorrow." (Alma 40:12)

6. STATE OF MIND - Result of our Stewardship

(Mechanics of the Mind Handout)

Pres. David O. McKay said, "Man is the creator of his own happiness. It is the aroma of life lived in harmony with high ideals." (Conference Report Oct 1955. p.8)

Ephesians 3:16-19 - "That he would grant you according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by His Spirit in the INNER MAN, that Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith, that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, May be able to comprehend with All Saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth and height, and to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with the fulness of God."

Heavenly Father and his Son have such a great love for us, “The Lord searcheth all hearts and understandeth all the imaginations of the thoughts.” (1 Chron. 28:9) “He looketh down upon all the children of men, and he knows all the thoughts and intents of the hearts.” (Alma 18:32) The Lord said, “I know the things that come into your mind, every one of them.” (Ezekiel 11:5)

If our hearts and minds are aligned with the mind and will of God, then we are happy. Alma 40:12 says: "And then shall it come to pass, that the spirits of those who are righteous are received into a STATE OF HAPPINESS which is called paradise, a state of rest, a state of peace, where they shall rest from all care and sorrow."

The whole intent of the gospel plan is to provide an opportunity for us to reach our fullest potential, to learn good stewardship over our thoughts, and to achieve happiness - that state wherein we are filled with the spirit of the Lord and find peace of mind in the companionship of the Holy Ghost.

...Carolyn Webb 2007

What's happening with the Householders?